With my first baby I remember realizing how amazing it was to have this new little guy and an overwhelming sense of “what are we doing!?”, even when your natural parenting instincts kick in, which they do!
I also remember realizing that as exciting as a new addition is, it really isn’t in a lot of ways (assuming a healthy baby) about the baby after delivery, especially for a c-section mom. It becomes about the care and healing of her.
We spend so much time showering the baby with gifts and love, and then there is momma, exhausted, hurting and really just wanting to figure out life again, and for one moment feel herself.
People come with the right intentions, bringing food by the house (which is a HUGE help in the first 2 weeks especially), offering to hold the baby and all sorts of other acts of genuine kindness. These are all very thoughtful things, but really they aren’t directly speaking to the momma’s needs.
To be honest the last thing I wanted to hear was “let me watch the baby while you do whatever you want to do”. Maybe I’m on a deserted island on this topic, but I find it completely frustrating to hear. The intentions are good, but the truth is, all I want to do is be with my baby. We spent 9 months together and you just want me to leave him?
So this sounds a little contradictory, that we want to feel ourselves but at the same time, don’t want to leave our precious baby for a minute.
And besides cooking a meal for the family, what can you really do for just the (possibly a control freak) momma?
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Just as we’ve showered the baby with gifts and love, each momma wants to be showered with that same love.
Start by respecting what she’s wanting. If she really wants to just hold her baby let her. Continue to bring meals and offer support, even if she is going to say no. All of these things are helpful and appreciated, but how unique are they for just her?
Give the new momma something just for her!
Now with a little personal experience, I love to make sure that when I have a friend deliver a new baby, that I don’t come with more baby clothes or blankets or toys, I show up with something just for her.
A little self-care goodie bag that makes her feel just as special as that new born baby has felt.
Here are some of the things I like to put in a “New Momma Gift Bag”. I think 3 – 4 items is plenty but if you feel like adding more you definitely can!
- Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Massage Lotion for Stretch Marks, this stuff works so good and the smell is mild so it won’t bother baby
- A fun magazine, I know we have our phones at the tip of our fingers to look at while feeding baby or just sitting, but this is a fun nice option. I like to choose something for her like a fitness magazine or healthy foods
- Epsom Salt Bath Soak, if you know she has a bath then this is great for adding
- Aquaphor Lip Repair – this stuff is amazing for dry lips, I swear by it for year round
- Pen and Notebook – I learned quickly with my first baby that sleep deprivation is extremely tied to memory loss. Keeping a list of to do’s, groceries, baby’s sleep pattern, etc. was crucial to my productivity and sanity. Find a cute notebook with motivational quotes to keep her spirits lifted.
- Gift card to make a new purchase when she feels up to it. A Target or Amazon card of even just $20 is always a great option too!
- Tiny Toddlers: This site isn’t just for babies, it’s more for parents and they have all sorts of cute, practical items. Use: quade15 for my discount!
Tell me in the comments what you’ve liked getting for just you after having a baby or a gift you received post-partum that made you feel extra special.
I hope you find a new perspective on giving a gift for a new momma too!